User blog:Run4urLife!/Jacob Vaughton Facts
Moved from my userpage because I got sick of the lag it created. Every time someone contradicts Canon, Jacob Vaughton grows in power. Jacob Vaughton can sneeze with his eyes open. One time, a Giant Radscorpion stung Jacob Vaughton's eyeball. After ten days of excruciating pain, the Giant Radscorpion died. Jacob Vaughton's sweat is the single largest source of Jet, Psycho and Buffout in the known world. Frank Horrigan wears Jacob Vaughton pyjamas. Jacob Vaughton is right behind you. Before going to sleep every night, the Boogeyman checks under his bed for Jacob Vaughton. There was no Great War. Jacob Vaughton simply ate one too many tacos on October 23rd 2077. Jacob Vaughton does not style his hair. It simply lays down in the blastback style because it is in Jacob's one and only blind spot. The energy released by the Big Bang is roughly equal to one JVH (Jacob Vaughton Headbutt). Some people get lucky and kill two birds with one stone. Jacob Vaughton kills four birds with half a stone on a regular basis. Some claim there is no such thing as half a stone. The birds thought so too. Jacob Vaughton is already dead. When the Grim Reaper finally summoned up the courage to tell him, Jacob beat him into a coma, folded him over and now keeps him in a shoebox. Once, a wise man invented the car as a means of escaping Jacob Vaughton. Not to be outdone, Jacob Vaughton invented the car crash. Jacob Vaughton built Mount Everest with a bucket and spade. Outer Space only exists because both fear and common sense keep it from living on the same planet as Jacob Vaughton. Jacob Vaughton shot down the Alien Ship in Fallout 3 with a BB Gun. Jacob Vaughton shoots your dog, kills Frank Horrigan, fires nukes from his eyes and sleeps with your wife, all at the same time. Jacob Vaughton flies around on a giant orb. It travels at 107, 218km/h, its radius is 6,378km, and it weighs 6x1024 kilos. We know it as Planet Earth. Jacob Vaughton is not only a noun, but a verb and an adjective too. When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes the skin. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part. When Jacob Vaughton kills a ninja, there's nothing left to salvage. When Jacob Vaughton arrived on this Earth, he was not born. He fell from Outer Space, and landed in the Caribbean. And that was the last we saw of the dinosaurs. Jacob Vaughton brushes his teeth with an Angle Grinder. Jacob Vaughton invented giraffes by punching a horse in the face. Jacob Vaughton once punched an Anterk to the ground. Early in his vigilante career, Jacob Vaughton was hit by a bus. He defeated it by Knockout in the second round. Jacob Vaughton turns Medusa to stone. Submitted by Teh Krush Jacob Vaughton lost his virginity before his father did. Submitted by Calonord Jacob Vaughton eats grenades and shits plasma. Submitted by Twentyfists Jacob Vaughton makes Tear Gas cry. Submitted by Bren Tenkage Jacob Vaughton is capable of breathing Chlorine. When he does this, he farts Mustard Gas. Submitted by Vegas Adict When Jacob Vaughton goes swimming in the Potomac, he doesn't get wet. The Potomac gets Jacob Vaughton. Submitted by Fireman 0504 Jacob Vaughton doesn't die of old age. Old age dies of Jacob Vaughton. Submitted by Cerebral Plague Jacob Vaughton pisses 200% Proof Whiskey. Submitted by Wasteland Chipmunk. Jacob Vaughton played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won. Submitted by Spectre N7 Jacob Vaughton can get a woman pregnant by looking at her. Submitted by Brengarrett Jacob Vaughton slew the Master in Fallout 1 using only a Deck of Cards, a Cosmetics Case, and a Picture of Elvis. Submitted by Twentyfists The King of Rock imparted his power of asskick onto Jacob. Submitted by Radiation King Jacob Vaughton IS the Metagame. Inspired by Cewebwalz Category:Blog posts